Another Velcro Babies mom who posts common vlogs below gave a in the back of-the-scenes take a look at what her Velcro toddler puts her through. She attempts to put her already-whimpering toddler down onto a bathroom conceitedness telling them, “It’s okay”, but the toddler cries.
“POV all of us tells you [that] you have got it smooth because you’re a SAHM (stay-at-home mother), however you maintain a toddler ALL day,” reads a text overlay.
“Having a Velcro child isn’t any shaggy dog story,” the mom says inside the caption. “At times, I sense so guilty having things undone, but it’s impossible to do some things one-handed. [The] afternoon gets even crazier because my son is autistic and has his own demanding situations [that] want interest. MOTHERHOOD is HARD. Being at home 24/7 is HARD. It isn’t always the smooth manner.”
Read More: Baby Care Basics Class
Suggestions Velcro Babies in Solidarity
With Velcro toddlers manifestly making even mundane responsibilities difficult for mother and father, some of the commenters on both motion pictures endorse letting the baby cry and doing what you want to do.
“I’ll permit mine cry for a piece if their dad is there because mother needs a smash too,” writes one character on the Velcro Babies video posted by @varneyfamily.
“Got to let them cry sometimes. It can be OK,” another writes.
“Let that baby cry,” says another. “You’re making things tougher on yourself.”
But other veteran Velcro Babies parents disagree.
“The humans in the comments speakme approximately ‘just leave her’ really haven’t any clue what it’s like having a clingy infant,” writes one man or woman. “After some time, ‘just leaving her’ makes matters worse for absolutely everyone. If I’m capable of hold my project with my toddler on my hip, I will absolutely do so. I’m there with you, mama.”
Er, equal right here. And from every other commenter, “Most of these remarks don’t bypass the vibe take a look at. You are doing your great, mama! Having a Velcro child is so difficult. We are hardwired to need to consolation them Velcro Babies! My son could simply keep crying if I put him down.”
Okay, so what do the experts assume? We requested.
How To Handle a Velcro Baby
For starters, it might assist to pay attention that Velcro infants aren’t looking to manipulate you or deliberately make your lifestyles tougher. There isn’t anything wrong with them or you.
“When we discover clingy conduct from an attachment theory lens, we examine that attachment is a survival mechanism,” says Kiana Shelton, LCSW, a Texas-based totally certified medical social worker with Mindpath Health.
She factors out that for toddlers, physical closeness to a figure/caregiver assures safety. “It is everyday to peer this accentuate round 6 to nine months as babies start to be around more human beings, which intensifies the want for confirming safety,” she says.
Abbey Sangmeister, MS.Ed, LPC, ACS, who works with parents via her practice, Evolving Whole, consents. “Babies are ’Velcro’ due to the fact they’ve a healthful, stable attachment to that determine. Secure attachment is the muse for a child and baby to grow and expand in a healthful way.”
Of route, that doesn’t make coping with a Velcro toddler any much less intense or more handy. Both specialists acknowledge that and offer some recommendation.
Embrace the Time Instead of Decreasing It
Contrary to the idea of actively reducing contact time along with your Velcro toddler, Sangmeister says attempt leaning in to that point as an opportunity to rest and recharge–although it approach particular tasks continue to be undone (or performed by someone else).
“When I paintings with mother and father which have a Velcro baby, I encourage them to embody the moments and gradual down,” she says. “During that time when the determine can take a look at what is actually taking place, Velcro Babies they’ll be aware that they themselves had been dysregulated first and rushing.”
As for simply letting the kid cry, Sangmeister says that does not certainly help, as filling the kid’s want for connection is what lays the inspiration for stable attachment.
Create a Velcro Babies Routine
Yes, infants and small children thrive on connection. Do you know the way else they are able to thrive? By knowing what to expect. Introducing a recurring in which your baby is aware of whilst it’s time to be close and whilst it’s no longer may assist to create a rhythm for them and you, and even boom their sense of safety Velcro Babies.
“A predictable routine can aid in security. Giving infants the capability to realize what to expect can lessen nervousness,” Shelton confirms.
Take Baby Steps–Not Big Leaps
Speaking of recurring, the walking before running approach should practice here. Taking toddler steps whilst teaching a toddler approximately separation will assist the concept sink in that it’s k to be other than your determine (due to the fact they may come back).
“Gradual separation may be a remarkable manner to assist the child get used to being away from the figure/caregiver in what looks like workable doses,” Shelton says.
You would possibly start with 30 seconds far from the kid earlier than returning, accompanied by using one minute, after which pass from there.
Utilize Verbal Communication and Follow-Through
Sneaking away whilst your Velcro infant isn’t looking may be tempting, but Shelton gently advises in opposition to this, as alerting your baby that your leaving can reassure them you’ll go back.
“While [saying goodbye] may create a few soreness and tears, it is not as anxiety-producing because the baby searching away and searching up to look their figure/caregiver disappear,” she says.
Sangmeister points out that verbally communicating your feelings as a figure is likewise a good idea, even if your infant would not completely apprehend.
“An example could be, ‘Mommy is feeling beaten proper now, and I understand you want to be held,'” she shows. “Mommy will dance with you for the next track, and then we are able to take a damage.”
Sangmeister adds that the conversation can development as the child gets older, offering, “Mommy feels crushed and wishes a little space for 5 minutes. While mommy does that, why don’t you shade or play Legos? I will join you after five mins.”
“It is essential that the determine returns in five minutes to keep constructing trust and secure attachment,” she says.
Develop Self-Care Strategies
Yes, your needs matter, too. Shelton indicates carving out intentional time–whether it’s at the same time as the child naps or some more minutes inside the shower, self-care would not continually should look like a day on the spa.
Shelton additionally shows considering the professional help choice. “A mental health professional can increase your tools to control this pressure that comes together with a Velcro child and provide powerful coping strategies,” she says.
Sangmeister gives some examples of effective coping techniques:
- Dancing in your favorite tune even as carrying the baby.
- Sitting at the floor preserving the infant even as taking deep breaths.
- Going for a walk with the little one in a provider.
- Coloring with the child for your lap.
- Reading a ebook collectively.
It can also sound cliche, however I enjoy doing meditation even as my baby naps—or telling my husband to take the puppies for his or her afternoon stroll while I nap.
Remember It’s a Season–Not a Sentence
Parenting a Velcro infant is difficult, and if you’re inside the trenches, I am proper there with you. Both Shelton and Sangmeister say each day reminders will carry you thru.
“This is most effective a season of this behavior, and it’ll not closing,” Sangmeister says. “Embrace the Velcro now, ask for help in a clean way, create self-care along with your baby, and do not forget early life has its seasons.”
Shelton adds that it can be tough to get unsolicited recommendation approximately something as private as parenting, or supply your self grace while evaluating your situation to others.
“Remember that parenting may be a sacrifice, however you have to no longer experience like you are suffering,” she says. “Know that clingy behavior is a regular part of child development. It’s a signal of a robust bond and steady attachment.”
The survival manual for life with a clingy baby
We assume to aid our tiny humans with cuddles and snuggles, specifically over the first few months. It comes with the task description, proper?
But for a few new mums the quantity of the cuddles turns into never-ending. And the steady snuggles cross up to now that they’re completely connected due to the fact bubbay sincerely gained’t allow move. It’s all-soaking up and leaves no room for valuable wallet of ME time.
And sooner or later sheer exhaustion settles in.
Invest in a child carrier
What Velcro toddlers simply crave is physical touch with their mumma. That’s in which babywearing and the numerous practical solutions available could make a real distinction for your each day ordinary. Whether you go for infant vendors, ring slings or wraps, all of them allow you to be mobile even as bub soaks up snuggles with you.
Fall in love with the Cushii Baby Lounger
The transportable Cushii Baby Lounger is available in available whenever you definitely need five mins of YOU time, a brief smash from sporting your toddler or valuable hand-free moments. The softly contoured mid section of the Cushii Baby Lounger makes your baby experience snug as a worm and allow’s you get on along with your to-do listing with toddler firmly by way of your side. It’s the following quality factor to a mum snuggle!
Get out into nature
The stimulating surroundings of the outdoors is a notable manner to distract from the need for mummy and allow your partner to take over. All the sounds, smells and points of interest will distract your tiny human long enough if you want to get a nicely-deserved ruin. It may also give your companion precious bonding time with your little one.
Accept your infant’s personality
It’s tempting to compare your infant on your bestie’s tiny human who fortuitously entertains themselves for the complete playdate. Every child is specific and springs with a unique personality from a very young age. Blink and you’ll have a little one who’s alternatively independent so embrace your velcro life at the same time as it lasts.
Find a mum and bub interest
Socialising is especially critical as a new mum, particularly if you’re confronted with a velcro toddler who’s connected to you 24/7. Find a mum and bub magnificence that gets you out of the residence so you can spend great time with different mother and father all whilst bub’s firmly by means of your aspect. It’ll save your sanity!
Gradually educate your child for separation
Slowly heat your infant to the idea of spending snippets of time without you. Here’s a tip: Place them in a Cushii Baby Lounger inside the room round the corner and speak to them from the hallway before returning to a massive cuddle. It’ll educate your velcro toddler which you always go back and get you a step closer to extra independence.
Conclusion:
Parenting a Velcro baby is both rewarding and demanding. Remember that your responsiveness contributes to their emotional well-being. Cherish the cuddles and know that this phase won’t last forever. You’re not alone—many parents share your journey. 🌟
FAQs:
What is a Velcro Babies?
A Velcro Babies is a term used to describe an infant who wants to be held all the time. They become upset if not in close contact with their parent or caregiver. These babies may cry or fuss when put down, even for short periods, and often need more physical reassurance.
Why are some babies clingier than others?
Some babies have a stronger need for physical closeness due to their temperament, attachment style, or sensory preferences. Velcro babies seek comfort and security through constant contact with their caregivers.
Is it normal for a baby to be clingy?
Yes, it’s normal! Clinginess is a sign of healthy attachment. Babies rely on their caregivers for safety and emotional regulation. Being responsive to their needs fosters secure attachment.
How can I handle a Velcro baby?
Respond promptly: Comfort your baby when they cry.
Babywearing: Use a carrier or sling to keep your baby close.
Involve others: Share caregiving responsibilities.
Self-care: Take breaks when needed, even if it means letting the baby cry for a bit.
Will my Velcro baby outgrow this phase?
Yes! As babies develop, their need for constant contact may decrease. Gradually, they become more independent and explore their surroundings. Patience and understanding are key.
Is it okay to let a Velcro baby cry sometimes?
While some suggest letting them cry, others emphasize comforting them. Trust your instincts and find a balance. Remember, you’re doing your best as a parent.
What if I have tasks to complete?
Prioritize: Focus on essential tasks.
Multitask: Carry your baby while doing chores.
Seek support: Ask for help from family or friends.
How can I manage guilt as a parent?
Understand that being a Velcro baby’s parent is challenging. Prioritize self-care and recognize that you’re doing your best. Seek support and connect with other parents facing similar experiences.
What about sleep for Velcro babies?
Co-sleeping: Consider safe co-sleeping practices.
Sleep routines: Create a consistent bedtime routine.
Patience: Know that sleep patterns evolve over time.
What if my baby has additional needs?
If your Velcro baby has special requirements (such as autism), seek professional guidance. Connect with support groups and learn coping strategies.
